
Well, by starting over I am burning bridges because sometimes “you may not understand now why a bridge is being burnt.” ~KJP
I am starting anew with my blog in the hopes that one day, someone may come across my blog and find the answers they have been seeking. I hope the answer is that “You are not alone!” You are a fighter like me, you have endured absolute pain and agony like me yet here you are, reading this blog post and clawing at the world searching for a life. You Have Survived! Now it’s time to start living again. So, where to begin???
I am currently battling fibromyalgia, permeant brain damage from complex PTSD, I have a pacemaker with a defibulator, chronic kidney stones due to an unknown reason, chronic pneumonia, and a leg that I cannot use due to a recent car accident. That is just this past year. Let’s review 2014-2024.
I have had COVID-19 twice, this first time almost killed me. I have had two strokes with which brought about the diagnosis of PTSD Brain Damage. I have non-epileptic seizures which many doctors are, as of this date, still learning about in NW Arkansas where I reside, for now.
I often am held down during my seizures which is NOT supposed to be done with my kind. My body needs to move in order to let the seizure run its course. There are about a dozen other minor issues compared to these but the point is I HAVE SURVIVIED and so will you!
Let’s now journey back to my childhood. My father horrifically abused me starting when I was a baby till I turned 18 and was able to leave KS legally and get away from him. I have been on my own since, I didn’t have Mommy and Daddy to pay my way through college, buy my first car or pay my rent and bills. I had a job and made my own way.
My Mother left when I was 11 leaving me with my father. She tells me she had to because he threatened to kill us if she didn’t. I actually believe that because my father was a demonic possesed monster! But… I digress. My point is, I was a survivor from the day I was born and I still have not thrown in the towel and I refuse to. I’m not going to let the “hand I was dealt” beat me down.
I choose to win!!! I have won. I published a book, I have also had poems, essays and short stories published. I had a job with Farmers Insurance Corporate when I returned to Kansas City until my heart failed in 2014. That was my first heart surgery, I have had 5 total. But again… I digress.
My point is, through all of this fucked up mess, I am still fighting everyday. Fighting my own brain, my body, my demons, and the world outside my house; which right now our world is possible facing a World War due to our President who thinks he needs to rule the entire world. A dilutional Donald Trump is what he is. I am happy that some of our military is saying no because he is dropping bombs and attacking countries without the permission of Congress. Congress need to stop sitting on their hands and whip our the 25th Amendment.
So, where do I go from here. I keep going forward.
I keep my life minimized to my small circle for right now until I can expand it as my health becomes better. I will continue my poetry and other writing skills. I plan to share those here. My goal is to blog everyday, even if it is just a sentence or a small paragraph. It is the initiative that matters, not the amount of what I am doing.
My hope is that this finds the people who need it and something inside you is kindled, renewed, inspired and that you realize… you are a fighter like me and the world CANNOT STOP YOU!!!
“I See…
what others refuse to see,
I am…
What others refuse to be.”
Photo, Blog & Quote
© 2026 Kat J Phillips


