My spine becomes a tuning fork,
The paralysis only for a second,
But the pain lingers for moments,
Every time you say my name,
Will I let this continue?
This hold you have over me,
The ability to cause me to remain,
Suspended by my longing.
O.r… do I need to take up my sword?
My shield and my armor,
And fight back the dreams, 
The visions of happiness,
You are not able to be what I dream,
I’m swallowed into Your sweet abyss.

Your words hit me,
My spine bows and is drawn,
I want so much to reach to you,
But the pain settles in, 
And I remember,
I cannot let this continue,
I must take back the hold,
I must want to be released and free,
Of the grasp of the one,
Who cannot decide within herself,
Whether to be my undoing,
Or whether to be my divinity.

Your words hit me,
My spine feels your wash,
Still the need to reach out to you,
But I no longer want to be the loss.
I will not continue,
To let you dangle the fairy’s lights,
I will not let you continue,
To fill my head with false delights.

You cannot decide,
Almost as if your blindness is my comfort,
My blanket of chaos that has kept you safe,
I hope it keeps you warm at night.
I will no longer be there,
To warm your body,
With my touch, my eyes that linger,
And the way you would come to me,
And fall into my embrace.
That is my dream…
I wish I could share. 
However,
I know you are aware.

Now all alone we each will stand,
The world you battle,
With no help from me,
Journey on as a single,
Together we could have conquered,
You chose solidarity over me.

© 2023 “I see… what others refuse to see.
I am… what others refuse to be”
Lady Kate Phillips