When defeat is not an option
   What then?
Tear your way through the obstacles?
   Causing destruction and chaos
Wandering if I care about the path
   What I have left crushed under my anger
 
Feelings, an idea, a better future
   What of my future?
      At times I wonder,
If I even deserve a future
   Or even a tomorrow
 
Am I allowed to be close to anyone?
   Will I know what it’s like again?
To wake up to a presence in the physical world
   Or am I doomed to the spirits
      Those ether ties
Those who exist only in my mind
   In the world others do not see
 
Are they real?
   Am I real?
The paper is real?
   The words appear on it
      But where do they come from
From my mind where the chaos lives
 
The thoughts claw at my skull
   Shredding my sanity in order to be free
To be part of the physical world
   My thoughts are driven by a haunting
A desperate need to run away
   To flee the evil and the chaos
 But once released, they cause their own chaos.
   Rake and ravage those that are near.
To see the blood of mine
   I will know the feelings are real
 Because if they are imagined
   Then, so is the blood that runs
      Down my arms and over my feet
Pooling below me
   Leaving evidence in the path
     Of the chaos I have left behind. 

© 2023 "I see… what others refuse to see.
I am… what others refuse to be"
Lady Kate Phillips