Is my life today what I pictured it would be a year ago? This question was asked by the blog page. I think I have a great answer… Absolutely Not! I did not want to contract COVID after four years of protecting myself from it. I did not want to lose my cat of seven years who was my anxiety companion and always with me everywhere I went. I must certainly would NOT want my Mom to have to go through the pain and agony of having her teeth fall out of her mouth or have them pulled. She also has spinal stenosis and bulging discs. I have started having issues with my pacemaker again. It just never seems to end… the turmoil.

However, I have had many people tell me I am the strongest and most resilient person they know. My friends and family have said they would never have made it through all I have been through and still be sane. Much of my sanity comes from my own hard work as a mental health patient of almost 30 years which I do talk about frequently. The past two therapists I have had were both amazing women who understood me and took the time to let me lead the way instead of pushing me. That is the mark of an Excellent Therapist! Thank you Dusti and Tracey. I use what I have learned in all my mental health journeys on a daily basis. When a mind splitting migraine hits me and I am screaming in pain, I am thinking “I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.” However, I get through it, I get past it, I sleep and wake up with a chance to look at the situation only to realize I’ve been through worse.

That’s always the answer I come to…I’ve been through worse. Eighteen years of abuse from my father. Two strokes that lasted over a week each. I’m on my second pacemaker and may be needing more surgery. These are the things that help me cope with the reality of my everyday life.

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH WORSE!

(In loving memory of Jax. You are still with me and I remember your soft purr and velvet fur. That cheeky smile is always on my heart)

Blog and Photo © 2022 “I see… what others refuse to see.
I am… what others refuse to be”
Lady Kate Phillips