Lately, I have been feeling down and I would go so far as to say hopeless at times. I was tortured by my father for the first eighteen years of my life. Did not go to college till I was 29. Paid for my first car and other firsts on my own. In the last decade, I have had over two dozen surgeries for heart issues, abdominal issues(I’m missing some organs now, five plus), I had Cancer, a Viral Lung Infection that almost killed me and developed Severe Fibromyalgia and Physical Brain Injury from PTSD. AND…after four years of wearing a mask ALWAYS and being diligent about staying home and away from people, having almost EVERYTHING delivered, I STILL CONTRACTED COVID IN JULY! This ride has not been fun. It has now been five months and I am still having COVID issues. The following poem is a glimpse into the furthest recesses of my mind and tells the tale of what I am willing to do to be rid of my pain and agony. It is fiction, but that does not mean I wouldn’t follow through if it were possible.

TITLE: MY SOUL FOR NO PAIN.

As the Styx flows, So does my soul, Out of this skin bag, Slipping toward Hades, Who was thrown out of Heaven, I seek his grace now, The other God did not listen, Ignored like an outcast. 

My Inferno Master, I bow to thee, I have nothing left, But to crawl on hand & knee, Please relieve my anguish, Make all to wither and die, Replace it with ecstasy, Give me a new lullaby.

No first born to give You, Children cannot live in my womb, The Great Love of my life, He died on the Eve of Yule. No price is too great, Or penance to high, What do you require, What pound of flesh, Makes all the pain expire.

Tell me Master, Of a great gesture, To perform for thee, I will stop at nothing, Still as a murder, I beg at your knees. Hades grips my face, I feel his craggy hands, Pulls me to new heights, Before him, he is so grand.

With a bellow mighty, His words pierce the ether, The torment slips away, In a rush of wind, My Master gives me grace. Child of mine… Please weep no more, Be gone the great torture, You have endured.

Now be at ease, The expanse of carnage & rot, Will no further be yours, Will not plague your mind, I command full stop. On waves of sludge, Everlasting fingers of Styx, Have brought you. All drugs and pain, Gave you entrance, Take in your new domain

Feel your new power, That bursts your veins, Now at this moment… Grow in my inferno, Your soul is mine to play, Your head no longer be bowed, You are a part of my Kingdom, Down upon you, My Glory will Reign!

© 2022 “I see… what others refuse to see.
I am… what others refuse to be”
Lady Kate Phillips