The following was written in my journal on February 10, 1995, I was 17 years old. X-Files reason for fear. Season 2-Episode 13 “Irresistible”

Voiceover by Fox Mulder (played by David Duchovny)“The conquest of fear lies in the moment of its acceptance. And understanding what scares us most is that which is most familiar, most common place… It’s been said that the fear of the unknown is an irrational response to the excesses of the imagination. But our fear of the everyday, of the lurking stranger, and the sound of footfalls on the stairs, the fear of violent death and the primitive impulse to survive, are as frightening as any X-file, as real as the acceptance that it could happen to you.”

I think this describes the battle I fight with my emotions every night before and after I turn out my light. I cannot control what happens in the dark because I am too dependent on my eyes.  The only reason I fall asleep is because exhaustion takes over or it starts to become light outside. This may sound paranoid. During the day I feel it is this battle that makes me strong but as night creeps nearer my mind swallows me and my fear runs rampant through my body. There were a few times when my fear was during the day. At one time I thought there was someone in my father’s bedroom. Maybe it was just my fear and hatred of him.

To you dear reader I pose these four questions:

1. You may see something, but do you really look at it?
2. You may hear something, but are you really listening?
3. You may say something, but do you really mean it?
4. You may touch something, but do you really feel it?

FAST FORWARD TO 2022:

Does our fear come from the fact that we are not paying close attention to what is happening around us in our immediate world? If we were to start paying close attention to each other, really extra close attention, to the happenings around us, how would our fears change? We had to be quarantined for almost 3 years because of a pandemic, we are being divided by irrational leaders who talk in false quotes, and we are having freedom after freedom taken away from us. I keep wondering, if the fear we have is due to exhaustion from the chaos the world has fallen into. If we were to put down our phones and start talking to each other again, face to face, would we have the fears we have? We are so attached to our cell phones and tablets we hardly interact with other people. Could we gain back the deeper understanding of the world around us if we actively listened to each other again?  Maybe that is why we fear other people. We no longer recognize another human being anymore. 

I would LOVE your feedback on this. If you scroll past all the ads, you will find a comment section. Please write about any particular part you wish. Or an overall view. I think we are driven by too much fear these days and need to help each other out of it!

© 2022 “I see… what others refuse to see.
I am… what others refuse to be”
Lady Kate Phillips