“Just like the Moon reflects the Sun, so too are the Children in our lives a reflection of our own Inner Child” © 2021 Kat J Phillips

So… what say you? Are you ready to embrace your inner child? I have been doing this for YEARS!!!

I moved a lot as a child.  This led to my inner child developing without much security.  I would make friends but then have to say goodbye. I would get comfortable in my room and my bed… and then have to change everything.  There are children who think of change as an adventure.  I was not one of them.  Maybe because I am a Cancer and we value home life and the security it should provide.  The reason could also be that I was a very sensitive child.  I took in so much of my surroundings, both physical and mental, and my mind was on edge worrying about the changes that were to come.  I was recently journaling about my childhood home. I wrote about how my homes have changed over the years but also about the similarities to my current home.  And that is what I can officially call the place I live… a home! 

My inner child made a drastic change when my best friend had twins, a boy and a girl, when I was 25 years old.  I was at her house 4-5 days a week helping her because her husband drove an 18-wheel truck overnight 4 nights a week.  I knew quite a bit about babies already because my father married a woman who had a six-month-old when I was only 11!  Instant baby for me!!! Needless to say, it was a BIG REASON for STAYING a virgin!!! I did NOT want children at a young age because I knew how challenging it was just having a baby brother to take care of all the time while doing homework, housework and trying to get enough sleep before a big test at school.  And no, my sister did not help!  It was me and my baby brother.  The rewards however were immense!  I had a very close relationship with my little brother and I learned how to care for a child and future children in my life.  Todd would call me “My Katie”.  Where is “My Katie”?  I want “My Katie” to put me to bed.  I want “My Katie” to hold me.  I’ll go if “My Katie” goes.  It was that moment in my life that I first understood what it felt like to be unconditionally loved by another human being. The feeling of being wanted because of the truly wonderful person I was… and still am.  The five years I had with him, I believe, gave me the courage to endure the abuse and torment of my father.  I had a bright, sunshine person in my life and I could be warmed by him.  He was a true gift and every hug and cuddle made my day.  I do miss him still but the memories are what help me all the time. The goodness that developed in my heart stayed with me as I became an adult and was moving into the role of a mentor. I never lost my inner child.

Fast forward to my best friends’ twins, Dylan and Dakotah. The day Dylan was born, his father put him in my arms, he looked at me and smiled!  I was not the only one who saw this.  Dylan’s father was looking at him but Dylan could not see him.  Dylan was looking right at me, he smiled for ME, and I felt something deep in my chest.  A piece of my soul I didn’t realize was missing had finally arrived in my life and I was complete.  We all cried a lot that day.  So much happiness filled the room as my best friends and I welcomed these little miracles into the world!   Diaper changing, feeding, burping, and even getting a smile from the twins came so easily to me.  I was in awe again of how much love a child could give to me.  Also, this time, I was able to imprint some of my knowledge onto these children.  My best friend talked about how she could see some of ME in her children.  A look, a giggle, and when they started talking, she said that Dylan had my wit!  Dylan…  My Dylan.  He was my shadow.  My constant little companion.  He took his first steps for me!  I have never cried so much and so deeply in my life… and have never again since.  I would run around and play with Dylan and Dakotah and then the next moment we would all be crashed out sleeping in the play room.  I miss those day!  So much fun and carefree days.  My inner child was beaming with joy and laughter!  Please remember one thing; do not let anyone tell you that you have to birth your own children to be able to be moved to extreme tears and be emotionally changed by a child.  We were connected! 

These days, if I ever have any doubt of whether or not I am a good person, I need only think about Dylan, Dakotah, and Todd. I remember how each of these children helped to heal and strengthen my own inner child.  If I have any reservations about making any changes in my life, with work, home, or a new adventure, I think of these children.  They are the gauge that let me know I AM a good person deep down.  Children can see straight into your soul and they mimic what they see.  Stay in touch with your own inner child and you will have happiness in your life even at the darkest times.  Be not afraid to make changes in your life because growth happens with these changes.  Picture a child you love in your mind.  Everything else will fall away and there will be peace… Eternal.  © 2021 Kat J Phillips