Sunday, May 2, 2021 8:10pm

Right now, I am a heart patient of 7 years! I was 36 when I had my first heart surgery and my journey has been uphill since. Nothing has been easy or simple since March of 2014. Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) was a part of my future whether I like it or not. I just thought it would be a few decades before CHG tore me down. I find it hard to walk, talk and breathe through the fluid in my lungs. I often hope and wonder, if by some great miracle, I am evolving into another type of creature. What else could explain my jumbled circumstances?!? The random health issues that continue to plague my body and change the landscape of my environment. I know that humans change throughout life but I’m transforming so many aspects of my heart, body and soul. It’s head-spinning!!! February 3, 2014 is when my story took a sudden turn. My heart stopped beating in a Kansas City Emergency Room. My heart also started beating again a few seconds later… but it was enough. A shift happened. My life started to slow down and I started to crawl… or climb… maybe both! Crawl on hands and knees begging to NOT DIE! Started an uphill climb that would plague me EVERYDAY!!! All day everyday… my heart condition directs my life. What I can or cannot do is based on what my heart wants at the beginning of the day the moment I wake up. CHF causes fluid retention in my body. Soooo… I never start my day walking on air. I start with the feeling that I am walking through 5ft of water. FYI: I am 5’9″ tall. Go Figure!!!

© 2021 Kat J Phillips https://www.instagram.com/katjphillips_poetry/